Happy
by Caca-chan the Almighty
Summary: It's not dark, that's for sure. The end is here!(Chp 3 is here)
1. Chapter..ONE!

Stupidity

Author's note:

Okay, my last fic was depressing, and I got a few e-mails from readers telling me I should try "happy" fics once in a while. Now I'm sitting here, shamelessly inserting myself into a Zim fanfiction that I haven't planned in any way. I'm going to remove this after a few days (unless you people like, which I know you won't; I mean, I coming up with this as I go along x_x). I just wanted to prove I AM capable of a "happy" fic, dammit! Uh… and I don't own Invader Zim. I do own me, however. I hope. Beware for total OOC-ness, and general stupidity.

Flames are welcome.

Ms. Bitters walked…or…slithered…or…floated (no one could really tell) into the classroom with a small girl in (gasp!) a t-shirt and jeans.She had short, dark brown hair, blue-green eyes A/N: Actually, my eyes change colors, and are more often than not gray, but I like typing blue-green, and long arms.

"Children, this is another doomed, common face into the crowd. Her name is Zoe." She pronounced it Zo.

"Um, it's Zo-ee," Zoe corrected timidly. 

"Fine then, Zo-ee, go sit down!" Ms. Bitters snapped. She pointed at a seat behind a boy that had a big head, and a scythe…thing…bang. A/N: In other words: Dib -_-;

Zoe rushed to the desk and plopped down, now genuinely afraid of Ms. Bitters. She pulled out some paper and a pencil and prepared to take notes as Ms. Bitters began the lesson.

"Don't waste your energy taking notes. All she ever talks about is how the universe is doomed," the boy in front of her whispered. 

"Uh, okay. So what do I do?"

"Draw, write, plot, whatever."

"Okay. Thanks."

"By the way, I'm Dib."

"Nice to meet you, Dib."

"Nice to meet you, Zoe."

Ms. Bitters caught the two talking and yelled them for being incompetent little children… something like that.Zoe drew until lunchtime. 

As the class filed out, Dib walked up beside her. 

"Hey, Zoe. Do you see that little green kid with no nose or ears?"

"Yeah…"

" That's Zim. He's an alien and he's planning to take over the world. I have pictures to prove it, but he made me forget where I put the extras."

"Uh…"

"He has this secret laboratory and a little robot…thing that has the disguise of a green dog."

"Um… well… I… certainly… hope… he's enjoying his stay." Zoe said slowly.

Dib stopped and stared. 

"What do you mean 'I certainly hope he's enjoying his stay'?!" Dib practically screamed, catching up with her.

"I don't know, really. It's my first day here, Dib. The last thing I'm going to think about is little green men from Mars," Zoe sighed.

"This is true," Dib replied. "You need to get used to the school."

"Yes. Yes I do."

They had arrived at the cafeteria. 

"Oh, and by the way, if you want to keep all your organs, I'd suggest you not eat lunch today: It's ketchup and rice day," Dib said quietly.

As if to prove his point, a kid fell holding his stomach and writhing in pain. Zoe paled considerably.

"I'll store that away. Thanks, again."

"No problem." 

Dib walked away.

So now Zoe was alone. She saw "Zim" at a table alone picking his food with a fork and walked over quietly. 

"May I sit here?"

Author's Note, AGAIN! :

Wee…okay, should I finish this? 

(several people run away screaming, and a few even go on murderous rampages, having lost their sanity at the first sentence)

Um…okay. 


	2. Chapter..TWO!

Author's note: Okay, wooo

Author's note: Okay, wooo. This chapter makes NO sense at ALL. I'm writing this at 7:00 in the morning, and that is not good. I don't own IZ, and you should be glad that I don't. In fact, you should be celebrating in the streets. Dib/Zim warning. Crappy pop culture references. Total OOC-ness. You have been warned. Flames welcome.

"May I sit here?" a voice asked.

Zim looked up. It was that new girl. What was here name? Oh yeah, Zo-ee. Dib had been brainwashing her. Damn. Just his luck. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he muttered.

"Thanks."

Zo-ee sat down and pulled a book seemingly out of nowhere and began to read. Zim poked at his ketchup and rice. Honestly, he didn't see how humans could eat school food. A kid at the table next to him slumped over, dead. 

…

Turns out humans CAN'T eat school food.Zim pushed his tray away, not wanting to take any chances. He made a mental note to hire the cafeteria ladies as his biochemical weapon engineers when he conquered the world, though. 

Zo-ee was still reading. Dean Koontz. Zim had heard of him. He wrote books that had basically the same story line. Like Everclear having the same tune for every song. He gasped. Was the mighty Invader ZIM making EARTH pop-culture references? No! This cannot be! He would have to get Computer to do…something to rid him of these horrible…things! 

Suddenly, to get the plot of this stupid story going, Zim wondered what Dib had told her.

"You! Human female stinkbeast! What did DIB tell you about me?" he asked, pointing wildly. 

Zo-ee lowered the book and cocked an eyebrow.

"He told me that you're an alien planning to invade Earth or whatever," she replied.

"Gads! Why does he always say that I'm an alien?" Zim whined.

"Because you are," Zo-ee said simply.

Zim stared. 

"I mean, come on. You're green, you have no ears or nose, and you called me a 'Human female stinkbeast.' It's pretty obvious." 

Zim continued staring. 

"I won't tell, though. Just do a good job when you invade Earth," she continued. 

The bell rang and Zo-ee got up and headed to Ms. Bitters.

-*-

Back in class, Ms. Bitters was talking about a project that would be done in groups of three.

"You will do a poster on a planet that I assign you. It is due at the end of the week," she growled.

"First group is Dib, Zim and Zoe."

Dib grinned and Zim moaned, wondering if it was possible to kill oneself with a blunt pencil.

Zoe just started drawing. 

-*-

When skool was over, Zim, Dib and Zoe got together to decide whose house they were going to work at.

Zim and Dib just glared at each other. 

"Alright, my house. Gotcha," Zoe sighed.

This wasn't going to be easy.

All three decided to go ahead and go over to her house since none of them had anything better to do. 

"What's the matter, ZIM? Do you have no parents to watch over you? Huh?" Dib taunted.

"Dude, that made NO sense whatsoever," Zoe remarked.

Zim smirked. Dib tripped and landed on his hands.

"You okay?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah. My wrists kind of hurt, though," he replied as he got up, dusting himself off. 

For no apparent reason, Zim tackled Dib.

"We'll get through this together! Oh, Dib, I LOVE you!" Zim wailed and bent over to hug Dib.

Dib started crying tears of joy or whatever and hugged Zim back. Zim picked up Dib, whose left leg was all of a sudden mauled looking. Both were crying but smiling shakily. 

As you can imagine, Zoe was wigging out.

"What the hell?! First you two HATE each other, and then BAM! Out of nowhere you LOVE each other?!" she shrieked.

The new couple nodded.

"And so you're not going to try to destr—what the fu…why are we seventeen?"

Sure enough, Dib, Zim and Zoe had somehow magically grown to be seventeen-ish: Dib was very handsome, but still had that scythe…thing…bang, Zim had grown drastically and was now about the height of Dib (who he was still holding) , and Zoe had formed into a beautiful young woman who still had those damnable long arms. 

Now EVERYONE was freaking. Zim dropped Dib and dug around in the pockets baggy jeans that he was wearing for some reason or another. He pulled out a wallet and moaned.

"It says on my drivers license-"

"You have a drivers license?!" Dib yelled.

"Uh…yeah. Anyway, it says here that I'm not seventeen, but twenty-one and judging by the other things here, I'm going to some arts college."

Dib and Zoe had begun digging around in their pockets.

"I'm twenty-two, and also going to an arts college" Dib gasped as he flipped through his wallet.

"I'm twenty and same for the college thing." Zoe said, her eyes wide.

They all compared their wallet contents and discovered they were going to the same college.

"Maybe it's just me, but I seriously doubt we have to work on that project, now," Zim pointed out.

The other two gave him that "How slow ARE you?" look.

"Uh…I guess I'd better be heading home now," Zim blushed.

"Yeah, me too." Zoe muttered, still mystified.

Dib just wrapped an arm around Zim's waist and smiled evilly. 

Zim laughed as they headed off to his house.

Author's Note:

Woot! Crap at it's best! o_O See people?! I CAN be "happy"! 

(Several people are begging for mercy and some are rocking back and forth, muttering something about Spawn of Satan.)

BTW, I would put this into one long story, but I run out of ideas, so I just cut it off. ~_~ I think I might continue just to piss people off. :) I enjoy doing that.

:runs off, oblivious to the lives she's ruined by writing this story:


	3. Chapter..THREE!

Author's Note: -_- Honestly, people

Author's Note:-_- Honestly, people. What do I need to say?

When Zim opened the door to his house, he saw a man that looked eerily like Jhonen Vasquez sitting on the couch with GIR. 

"Who are you?" Zim asked.

"You're creator," he replied in a …monotone-ish…. voice… yeah.

" You mean to say God is REAL?! I thought I proved that there IS no god!" Dib gasped.

Zim, Mr. Vasquez, and GIR stared at him.

"..okay. You know what? I'm going to watch television, now," Mr. Vasquez drawled before turning back to the television.

GIR grabbed Mr. Vasquez's hand and squealed, "Come on, Jhoney! I'm going to show you Pig, my favorite patch of grass, and the place in the kitchen that I like to ROLL on!"

And with that, the little green robot puppy dragged off Mr. Vasquez.

"Well, that was random," Dib remarked.

"Yeeeeesss…" Zim narrowed his eyes in that EVIL way.

Dib looked at him.

"I think…I'm…going to … go…get some…water. Yes… Do you want some?"

He was slowly backing away to the kitchen.Before Zim could answer, he turned and ran into...uh...it.

Dib grabbed a glass, but accidentally dropped it and it burst into flames, much like cars do in movies.

Not to worry, though! The fire was out in seconds, although Dib had done nothing. 

GIR ran in dragging Mr. Vasquez, who looked mighty tired. "And this is where I like to roll!"

GIR dropped onto the ground rolling.(The glass had some how magically been cleaned up.)

Mr. Vasquez just kind of…stared. It looked like he had been both mentally and physically scarred by that cute little robot.A part of him was now dead. 

GIR continued rolling.

Zim walked in, his eyes still narrowed in that EVIL way.

"What's going on in here?" he asked.

"Um… that dude is emotionally dead, and GIR is rolling," Dib answered pointing wildly at the sink.

"…"

Suddenly, Zoe burst in because the author was tired of writing this story and she wanted to finish it!

"I'm sorry that I was so mean!" she wailed.

Dib and Zim ran over and hugged Zoe. The audience Awwwwwwwed.

GIR squealed and ran over and hugged a leg of the table.

Mr. Vasquez left to go get a burger.

Everyone lived happily ever after and blah, blah, blah. 

Dib became a famous artist, Zim a singer, and Zoe became a famous cartoonist. 

GIR didn't change, really.

Oh, and Zim eventually un-narrowed his eyes. :D

The end.

Author's Note: Woot! Fini! I don't own Jhonen Vasquez or IZ. 

(Mr. Vaquez starts crying uncontrollably)


End file.
